Recently I have started P90X. What they don't tell you on the infomercials is your normal everyday fat ass will not be able to complete one of these DVDs, without shedding some of those pounds prior to engaging in these workouts of Woolly Mammoth proportions. I am a resonably fit guy. A little above average in the athletic sense. After my first workout I could not lift my arms up high enough to properly wash all parts of my body. Seemed like everything above my shoulders was out of reach. I was discussing the P90X workouts, with a co-worker,(who is probably going through a mid life crisis). He informed me that he too, was in fact, an owner of these DVDs. He mentioned that he would be interested in doing them together. I probably would do the workouts with him, but I do not want to be the person who has the responsibility of administering CPR when his middle aged body goes into cardiac arrest. I propose that a new line of DVDs come out.
I will call my line of DVDs P45H. The 45 one might ask is not related to the number of days the program will last, but rather the average age of my target consumer. As for the X being replace for the H, well that is another drastic change I have made to my preliminary product. The X, in Tony Horton's program stands for extreme. I do not feel, however, my audience is ready for extreme...they just need hard. So the H stands for Hard. I have also envisioned the infomercial.
It will go a little something like this:
"Are you going through a mid life crisis?"
"Has your crisis left you unable to sleep."
"Have you been watching P90X infomercials late at night, thinking to yourself, that could be me. 90 days is a short period and time and if I stick with it, I will have the body I have always dreamed about. My wife will stop fucking her personal trainer and my kids will want to hang out with me."
"Well P90X is not the answer because it is way too hard for you to just decide one day, whoops I actually don't want to be a growth on the couch anymore, I want to exercise!"
"P45H is what you have been looking for. P45H can get you started moving again, because lets face it, it has been awhile since you actively did anything. P45H is tough...but not extreme. It can teach your legs and arms coordinated movement, over periods of time, with repetition. P45H also will help get your diet back on track, because the truth is...that is how you ended up like this."
"P45H so one day you might be able to do P90X."
Something along those lines.
P90X is not only great because it is so intense, but also because watching Tony Horton is a gift in itself. His motivating words of wisdom like "I hate it, but I love it" keep you going when you think that you can't. Also this guy has to be doing something right, due to the fact he is like 50 something, more ripped than you will ever be and is probably a direct descendant of Hercules. Making him related to Zeus...which means he has the gods on his side. Tony Horton's sweat is probably the main ingredient in the Recovery Formula he promotes, which is why I drink it. Tony Horton a god amongst men, but being the unselfish humanitarian he is, he defied the gods and gave the gift of sculpted abs to men (and women).
Thanks Tony for striking fear into the mid life crisis and getting people to live healthier lifestyles, it just doesn't start with P90X.
So reach for P45H
...the P in the product stands for POWER...I couldn't change everything
